A marriage is a holy and solemn bond between two people. But God cherishes the person more than he loves the institution; the individual who was “fearfully and wonderfully fashioned” (Psalm 139:14) by the Lord Himself, in the image of God.
Divorce rates are 42% lower for Christians and religious adherents than for the religiously unaffiliated. According to sociologist Bradley R.E. Wright’s research, attending Church regularly significantly affects the divorce rate among evangelicals.
Divorce is still an issue for Christians, even though Christian marriages have a higher survival rate than the national average. The desire to be faithful to the Lord might lead people to stay in relationships that are not biblically sound, even though they know it is wrong.
Contrarily, some people will use the Bible to defend their unjust treatment of a spouse with grounds for divorce in the Bible.
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The Top Three Justifications
Abuse, adultery, and desertion come up repeatedly in discussions about biblical grounds for divorce. One has valid grounds for divorce if the other spouse has been physically or sexually abusive, has been unfaithful, or has left the marriage without making amends or seeking counseling.
Most people think of physical forms of “abuse” like striking, punching, burning with cigarettes, etc., but there are also emotional kinds like manipulation, control, and even violence.
Some of these tactics are more subtle than others; for example, shouting and calling someone names is cruel, but so are controlling their spouse’s food and finances, isolating them from friends and family, giving them the silent treatment, and undermining their authority with the kids. He might call her pet names or refuse to name her at all.
If her spouse makes an unpopular argument, she can leave the room or “jokingly” trash him in front of guests. There are various sneaky ways to erode a couple’s feeling of self-worth and safety in their union. In addition, there are several types of adultery. And then there’s the more blatant problem of “sleeping around” with various people. One may have an extramarital affair or even become a bigamist.
When one partner in a marriage develops a close emotional bond with someone other than their partner, this is called emotional adultery, even if no physical liaison develops. As with other forms of adultery, pornography or “sexting” can be a catalyst for infidelity.
To conclude, abandoning is not simple either. As a result, one party physically departs the other. When one partner in a couple ceases interacting with the other, it’s called emotional abandonment. They could live in different cities even if they shared a residence. Certain classes intertwine with one another.
If a husband is having an emotional affair with a coworker, if he is grumpy when his wife is around but happy when he talks to other people on the phone, if he consistently ignores his wife and walks out of the room whenever she tries to discuss problems, then he has abandoned her, abused her, and committed adultery all at once.
Biblical Texts That Can Help Us Reason
Biblical reasons for divorce are sometimes derived from pastors and Christian counselors. Dissolution of marriage due to sexual immorality is mentioned in Matthew 19:9. And “if the non-believing spouse wants to split up, then so be it.” In such a situation, the sibling is not enslaved.
A Christian shouldn’t file for divorce just because their partner doesn’t share their faith, but if tensions arise due to that gap, the Christian shouldn’t feel bad if the non-believer leaves. Although Jesus commanded us to show mercy to our aggressors, he did not advocate actively seeking out violence.
Dr. Craigh Keener warns against rushing into discussions of divorce. The problem is that “some individuals are too ready to grab for that moment,” while others wait too long. When the apostles were persecuted, they sometimes followed Jesus’s advice to leave for another city. To force someone to stay in an abusive relationship is cruel.
The same idea holds when someone’s mental health is severely compromised due to being abandoned or experiencing emotional abuse. Whether it’s physical or psychological abuse, withholding food, medication, or affection from a spouse, “it is callous to make someone remain in an abusive environment.”
Because they are more difficult to spot than, say, a bruise or burn mark, the indirect repercussions of action can be as, if not more, harmful than their direct counterparts. Author Simon M. Scully elaborates, “It may be subtle, sneaky, and manipulative. Affected individuals lose faith in themselves and their impressions of the world.
Multiple academics, including Dr. Beth Felker Jones, have understood the biblical rules for divorce as addressing “any transgression of God’s purposes for permanent, loyal ‘one flesh’ union,” which includes adultery but also “violence or abuse against one’s husband since to mistreat one’s spouse is also to break that one flesh union”.
According to Leslie Vernick, the Bible verses 1 Corinthians 5:9-12, James 5:19-20, and Galatians 6:7, divorce is a reasonable option if “there is no remorse or desire to look at that and how and how it’s harmed the marital tie and the bond of trust.”
This is what she terms “chronic hardness of heart,” and it includes not just the sins already described but also things like an addiction (to food, alcohol, drugs, exercise, or employment), excessive spending, or avoiding the truth about a mental health problem that is harming others.
The possibility of achieving reconciliation
All the experts remark that the Bible advocates forgiveness and restoring a marriage, even if one partner is violent. Provided the offender repents, gets treatment, and stops abusing the victim, forgiveness might lead to reconciliation if the victim feels secure.
Separation first, then therapy and guidance from a mature Christian couple are best. Mentoring isn’t about having a perfect marriage, argues Sabrina Beasley McDonald. We’re all flawed. Therefore no marriage is ideal. A developing marriage is different from one that isn’t.
Marriage mentorship programs have assisted couples approaching divorce by teaching them how to live out biblical marriage principles in flawed but grace-filled ways. Reconciliation takes two parties, just like marriage.
Each individual is a sinner who will make errors, and each must accept the other’s purposeful (sinful) or inadvertent faults or eccentricities. If one partner doesn’t work, the marriage may dissolve.
Should a Christian Stay in a Marriage When It Becomes Unhealthy?
Personal accounts of staying in marriage through adultery, desertion, or abuse reveal the long-suffering partner is better, more faithful, and more obedient to God than a divorcee. They insist that wives should be submissive.
Hosea endured his cheating wife. “What God has linked, let man not separate”. Christians should consider marriage as “one flesh” seriously.
Sin damages the perpetrator, too. It isolates the sinner from God and can lead to apostasy. Even if this person isn’t eternally separated from God, they cause mayhem in at least one other person’s heart, mind, and body.
Intervention would be excellent for a cocaine addict. A spouse would give the other person an ultimatum: undergo treatment or leave home. Failing to address an abuser is like ignoring a drug addict’s addiction for fear of seeming unloving or legalistic.
When someone has had several chances to realize their wrongdoing and accept treatment, a request provides a compassionate message: sin has consequences. Vice “pays with death.”
Intervention is best done with godly help from a loving, discerning biblical counselor and wise friends. This is for safety, assessing the plan’s efficacy, and maybe changing with aid and expertise.
Abuse enablers are not holy. It may be an arrogant choice that dishonors marriage or God, especially if the abused party ignores his offers.
God despises separation and divorce, but He Loves You.
Laura Petherbridge insightfully explained, “God knows that divorce deeply wounds and attempts to destroy his precious Beloved. Divorce endeavors to steal, kill, and destroy God’s creation. Divorce tried to assassinate me. That’s why God hates divorce.”
Marriage represents the union between Christ and his bride, the Church. But abuse distorts and sullies this picture. God does not like a hasty, thoughtless, selfish divorce for superficial and selfish reasons.
Marriage is a severe and sacred union. But God loves the individual more than he loves the institution, the individual who was “fearfully and wonderfully made” by the Lord Himself, in His image.
The most crucial relationship in the life of a Christian is their relationship with the Father. No spouse is perfect, but the Lord does not condone one person denying or demeaning the Imago Dei each person was made with.
This concludes our discussion on Biblical Justifications for Divorce; we hope you found the material helpful and that you enjoyed reading this topic. Keep up with the latest news at unitedfact.com.