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Miscarriage Survivors Say Taylor Swift’s New Song Has a Special Meaning for Them
Some fans are being reminded of their personal experiences with pregnancy loss by a song from Taylor Swift’s new album “Midnights,” which gives language to their anguish. Ashley Fritz, 30, was waiting for Swift’s 10th studio album, “Midnights,” to be released at 12:00 a.m. on Oct. 21. Fritz, who resides in Michigan, was taken aback by Track 16, “Bigger Than The Whole Sky,” which immediately reminded her of her 2020 miscarriage as she listened closely to the lyrics and melodies of each song.
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“The first verse could have been about any loss,” Fritz told TODAY Parents, “so I didn’t even think about the pregnancy.” Then she heard the chorus, and she added: “The sentence ‘I’ll utter the words I don’t believe reminded me of the times I convinced myself, ‘Oh no, I’ll be OK — time will heal this and I’ll get over this,’ knowing I wouldn’t,” Fritz continued. “At that moment, I was bawling on the kitchen floor.”
Fritz is not alone. Following the release of Swift‘s “Midnights,” many listeners expressed how the song connected to their personal experience with pregnancy loss. In June, I had a miscarriage. I’m still not over it. I’m not feeling well, “a fan tweeted “I can’t put it into words, but this music has done it for me. Of course, it’s all relative, but that’s what it means to me.”
According to Dr. Jessi Gold, an assistant professor of psychology at Washington University in St. Louis, “music has a way of making us feel seen and understood” and can help someone address a loss they’ve been avoiding. “Just knowing we’re not alone can help us begin to heal,” Gold told TODAY Parents. “It might even suddenly evoke a memory – something you buried and didn’t realize affected you — and that’s fine.”
I finally get to listen to something that lets me cry, feel my feelings, and maybe let it all go for a short while. Fritz has been struggling to find the words to express her anguish about the loss of her pregnancy. She discovered she was pregnant on May 26, 2020, and despite the fact that it was not a planned pregnancy, she was “overjoyed.”
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“I received a baby book and supplements. I was prepared, “Fritz elaborated. The technician could not find a heartbeat during her initial ultrasound and observed that her pregnancy hormone levels were unusually low. Another scan a few weeks later indicated that the pregnancy was not advancing.
“They said it was an ‘inevitable miscarriage,” Fritz continued. Fritz had a D&C treatment on June 25 to remove the remainder of her pregnancy when she began miscarrying. “I keep the pregnancy test and the first few pages of the baby book in a box in my room,” she explained. “I still bring them out to mourn.
I’ve written my own pieces on my experience and the release of pain, but nothing had ever expressed how I felt until I heard ‘Bigger Than the Whole Sky.’ I finally get to listen to something that lets me cry, feel my feelings, and maybe let it all go for a little while.”
A miscarriage occurs in one out of every four pregnancies, though this figure is likely to be higher because many miscarriages occur before a woman realizes she is pregnant. According to a 2015 study, people wrongly assume that miscarriage is uncommon or caused by stress, and these misunderstandings lead to stigma, judgment, and guilt.
It’s been such a pleasure to be able to feel everything and not hide how terrible the loss was. Haugen stated she was “amazed at how literally, word for word,” the song applied to how she felt about her loss, and she “can’t remember a song that so closely captured the experience of pregnancy loss for me.”
Aside from the song itself, Haugen stated that seeing how others reacted and shared their own tales of pregnancy loss provided her with a much-needed reassurance that she is not alone. “It reminded me that it’s a shared experience,” Haugen remarked. “There are other individuals you can talk to and lean on.”
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