This week’s news has shocked us all as women. As mothers, we have been hit a little harder. Everard, Sarah. A name we’re all familiar with for the wrong reasons. We don’t know the full details of her death, but we don’t have to.
We’ve learned enough. Sarah Everard chose, as we all have, to go home alone after dark through a park. Her life was the price she paid for that decision. Whatever happened to her in the terror that preceded it was not her choice that night.
Identifying investment opportunities in unpredictable times: Global Market Outlook 2023. She was just desperate to go home! However, like with many female attacks, the story and inquiry seem to be: “But did she do anything to invite it?”
Did she encourage a man’s harm by choosing to remain alone at night? Was what she was wearing a factor? You can’t run in heels; did she wear sneakers? Did she take a cab? Did she make a phone call? Where had her buddies gone?
The truth is that as women, we must consider all of these things every time we leave the house. The reality is that we shouldn’t have to. We’ve all felt scared while walking alone, whether it’s because someone is causing us concern or because we know they could. Every one of us. Sarah, like all of us, will have evaluated the pros and disadvantages that night.
She will have considered a risk, pondered what she was wearing, possibly prepared her keys as a weapon, and possibly made a phony phone call as she stepped out to the home she never reached. She will have been nervous and will have looked over her shoulder even before the attacker spotted her. We’ve all been there and done those things, and perhaps we’ve accepted it till now.
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We all have a tale, or 12 stories, about men who have scared us, attacked us, terrorized us… That’s just part of being a woman. Truth. I’ve been flashed several times myself. On the Tube at night, on the streets of Norwich in broad daylight, when I was a teenager and my neighbor believed it was acceptable to stand on his windowsill behind curtains and unveil himself when I came out of my door.
I’ve been on a date when the dude attempted to impose himself on me. Been escorted home by a “friend” who, when his attempts were denied, exposed himself for reasons only he knows. Bosses have pinched my bottom, I’ve been leered at on the street with and without my children, and my house has been broken into in the middle of the night.
I have memories from my childhood (a 23-year-old man tried it on with me when I was 13) and experiences from the present. The events, both small and large, keep repeating themselves in a culture that believes that if a woman is subjected to male behavior like this, she certainly earned it.
All stories, big and small, eventually lead to stories like Sarah’s, and while not all men are accountable, all men have a responsibility to behave properly. Men do not all wolf whistle or beep at women from their cars. Not everyone looks twice at a short skirt, and texts “banter” about women to their friends, leers, jeers, or bottom pats.
Not all guys chase hit, hurt, rape, or murder. But because of the few and because the decisions women make about what to dress, where to travel, and who to maintain a company with never act as an invitation to men, all men must always make all women feel safe!
Even though I shouldn’t have to, as a mother of daughters, I will teach my children how to make better decisions. More significantly, as a mother of sons, I intend to teach my boys proper behavior so that their sisters will have fewer lessons to learn.
We must learn from Sarah Everard’s tragic death that our sons must grow into the men we want to meet on a dark night, not the ones we fear. We want them to cross the street to put us at rest, to back off, not to touch us without our permission, and to show us respect with their hands and eyes.
There are many lessons to be drawn from Sarah’s death, but the most important is that women are not to blame! Everard, Sarah. A name we’re all familiar with for the wrong reasons. Someone’s daughter, friend, girlfriend, or sibling she was.
She will be remembered by those who loved her for all the wonderful things she did for them, but those of us who didn’t know her will have to honor her memory by insisting that our sons grow up differently. All moms must do this for Sarah, the mother she will never be, for all the women who have become victims, and for Sarah’s mother. It is our responsibility to Sarah and all women, particularly our daughters.
Sarah Christian Reagor of Leakey, Texas, began her heavenly journey on December 25th, 2022. Her worldly adventure began on October 26th, 1995, in Houston, Texas. Charlie and Anissa Reagor, her parents, were looking forward to her birth.
Sarah spent her first 11 years in Houston, Texas, before her family relocated to Leakey, Texas, in 2006. She attended Leakey ISD and graduated from Leakey High School as Valedictorian in May of 2014. Sarah played in all sports as a child, earning All-State honors in the Basketball State Tournament her junior year.
Sarah’s desire to serve others led her to study Exercise Science at The University of Texas at Austin, where she plans to become a Physical Therapist. Sarah’s best buddy was a long-haired dachshund named Sammi, who was always by her side near the conclusion of her undergraduate career.
She attended Angelo State University to pursue Physical Therapy after graduating in December 2017. Sarah received her Doctorate in Physical Therapy in May of 2022. She finished her board tests to become a licensed Physical Therapist in August 2022 and began her professional career at Dallas Methodist Rehabilitation Hospital.
Sarah was known as a light to many during her journey. She formed several lifetime friendships with folks she met along the road during her life. She was everyone’s daughter, sister, niece, granddaughter, cousin, and friend. Sarah’s father and mother, Charlie and Anissa, as well as her younger twin siblings, Emily and Chase, survive her.