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Divorce is difficult. Even if you know, you’ll be happy in the end. A divorce can be challenging to manage. A divorce may produce a lot of dread about the future, in addition to judicial processes, financial changes, and housing situations.
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A Statment About Tony Robbins’ Lessons Afterlife of His Divorce
This coming December will mark my 39th year in the legal profession. Yikes! Whoa, time sure does fly by.
For the past 30 years, I’ve focused much of my work on “family” law issues, including divorce, child custody, and adoption. It’s one of the more nerve-wracking parts of the law, and it’s easy to see why.
Family law courts in Southern California were among the first to have metal detectors installed during my time as an attorney there. The criminal court system followed shortly after the bankruptcy court system. Finally, there were the courts that presided over civil trials. Notably, the first courts to implement security measures in the post-9/11 era were those dealing with domestic disputes.
All of us have experienced the aftermath of a divorce, but during the whirlwind, it’s easy to feel like the world has gone completely insane. It’s a highly stressful and emotionally exhausting period. And so, before you enter the arena of what might be one of the most challenging endeavors in life, here are some words from the trenches, some guideposts, if you will.
No One Wants to Punish Anyone
A prospective new client was contacted some years ago. He immediately began talking about how his wife wanted a divorce. I plan on annihilating her. I gave the reasonable and charming man my full attention before saying, “I am not in the business of revenge.” If children are involved, you should try to accept the divorce, look out for your best interests, and then move on.
It’s not likely that your new attorney of choice is the ideal person to help you through the legal and emotional minefield if they are a firebrand.
Keep the Attorneys and Your Spouse Separate
There is frequently a great deal of anger or, at the very least, a profound sense of loss and disappointment. Remember that neither your lawyer nor your spouse’s lawyer is responsible for the issues between you and your spouse. While it’s only natural to want to blame the attorneys for the situation, it’s usually best to concentrate your mind on finding a way forward.
Your lawyer has the same responsibility to safeguard your interests as the other side’s attorney has to protect theirs. Remember that in most cases, your representative is doing precisely what you would like them to do for you for their client.
A Child is the Most Precious Possession
When a divorce involves children, their best interests must take precedence. The children are still entirely innocent, no matter how much hate has built between you and your partner over the years. If you and your spouse have brought a child into the world, that bond will endure even after a divorce.
It will always be “Mom’s or Dad’s for Christmas?” even after the kids are grown and have their kids. It should be “both,” especially if Mom and Dad are still on good terms. Parents must put their children’s needs first. You must find a way to coexist with your soon-to-be ex, even if you can’t see how you two could get along. The kids are counting on you two.
What You Each Have is Yours Equally
Whatever is gained during a marriage in Colorado is considered marital property unless given to one spouse individually or inherited. You’ve been married for 20 years and have a lovely house and savings to show for it. The egg is a shared possession of the pair regardless of who laid what. Most of the time, I hear this from the spouse who brings in more money: “I’m not going to ‘give’ him/her half!” The “half” is already his or hers, though.
Divorcing couples would do well to keep in mind that when they got married, they both agreed to share and to share generally equally with their spouse, even though there are ways to protect a party’s interests and methods to structure a divorce settlement that is more or less favorable to one or the other party’s interests.
Don’t Let Some Random Person Choose for You
Courts serve a useful purpose, and one of them is maintaining some semblance of harmony amongst disputants. In my opinion, this is preferable to a street fight. Divorce, however, is an intimate matter. The judge has no way of knowing what you hold most precious. Unless the other party is unreasonable and unyielding, it’s usually preferable to work things out independently. Read more: Deputies Say a Couple Was Murdered in Their Deltona Home While Their Children Were There
You and your soon-to-be ex-spouse are the only ones who truly understand your priorities. In virtually all cases, it is preferable to negotiate a settlement with the aid of your attorneys and a mediator rather than having a stranger (black-robed or not) impose a decision on you. However, there are situations when going to trial is the best option.
Disregard Minor Details
Even minor issues might become major ones when couples are going through a divorce. Fights over who gets the Elvis on velvet seldom merit the time, energy, and resources expended. Always remember what’s genuinely essential while you go through the divorce process.
Do not forget that you are not trying to provoke the other person but rather to reach a just and sensible resolution to the issue. Be true to yourself by never straying from your core values.
The Assistance of a Prenuptial Agreement
A prenuptial agreement can be helpful, but it is not a magic bullet and may not eliminate the agony. The couple’s personalized road map to who receives what during the wedding could help to alleviate at least some disagreement if they put in the time and effort before the ceremony. Read more: Military bomber crashes into Russian housing complex, killing 13
Things improve
There are certainly as many causes of divorce as there are marriages. In my almost four decades of experience, I’ve found that once a couple decides to divorce, there are usually valid and important reasons behind it. Divorce is never easy, but I have yet to meet a client who, when I ask how things are doing six, twelve, or twenty-four months after the divorce is final, doesn’t react with, “Better than before!” Put your trust in God. Yes, that is what will happen. It’s essential to remember that we’re all flawed human beings and that plans don’t always come together, but that, as a species, we can bounce back and make do.
It is strongly recommended that you maintain an active connection to the website unitedfact.com if you are interested in accumulating more knowledge on the facts presented in the previous paragraph. This is because you will be able to access additional material there.
